Flash Fiction Challenge – Before the Call

Maria savored the hazelnut chocolate, eyes closed, as each bite melted in her mouth and warmed her heart. She wore her favorite pink lace dress, which now hung loosely around her thin body. However, she no longer cared about her weight.

She touched the pink pearls her husband had given her long ago. They were as fake as he was. But, she had kept both.

Maria walked around her beloved garden, feeling the twilight breeze on her face.

She leaned back and took a deep breath. Then she dialed the clinic to ask for the result of her diagnosis.

The above is my response to this week’s Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge. The prompt is to write a story of 99 words about deep wishes. Thank you, Charli, for giving us the opportunity.

23 thoughts on “Flash Fiction Challenge – Before the Call

  1. Yes, it is deep, and nicely done x One fake husband is far too many for my liking. I felt that flower scented breeze, the heady whiff of blooms. I enjoyed the descriptiveness of your tale, if I am somewhat saddened and anxious for the call she expects.

  2. Sounds like she deserves to enjoy those chocolates. I wonder if t is even possible she knows and doesn’t care about the outcome of the call. Either way she knows what is fake and what is real, that is clear.

    • She could just be getting checked for diabetics, as she is eating chocolates. Considering that she is doing all her favorite things, the diagnosis could be something more serious. However, she is ready for it, I guess. Thank you for reading and commenting, Avery.

  3. Even simple tests can be daunting. Once I ended up waiting (so insurance would cover a procedure)… Things worked out but there were many silent moments of just holding and hugs as we waited together. Hope your ‘gal’ gets support and good results.

    • You are right, Jules. We imagine the worst during our waiting hours. Thankfully, things worked out for you. Yes, I certainly hope the character in the story gets a good result. Thank you so much for commenting.

  4. Pingback: Deep Wishes « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

  5. Unlike the others who have commented here, I imagined that Maria did all those things because her husband was dead. The husband she got rid of. But fate always pays a price for the realization of our desires. So in the end she too had fallen ill and with the same disease as her husband. So he had to enjoy his last moments.

    • That is a very Interesting perspective indeed. It is quite possible to interpret the story that way. Thank you so much, Amleta, for taking the time to read this and comment in detail with your perspective.

    • It could be that she was a very tolerant woman and had put up with his fakeness. Or it could be that she had weaknesses of her own and they both were compromising with each other. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.

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