The wind wailed; as if it sensed some disaster we overlooked. Before I could grasp its significance, the dark clouds stormed into prominence and the rain poured, forming a muddy puddle near the pavement. There were no pedestrians in sight; only vehicles. As the rain gathered momentum, I saw a girl in early teens walking with a smaller child, probably her younger brother. They did not wear a raincoat and carried no umbrella as the fierce rain soaked their uniforms. They stood near the muddy pavement. The girl, in a desperate bid to shield her little brother, held her school bag over his head. When it did not work, she hugged him close, attempting to cover a part of him, while the rain drenched her completely. Passing vehicles soaked her mercilessly with mud.
Drenched nest
heavy torrents
melt into drops
This was written for the Ligo Haibun Challenge, inspired by the quote by E.E. Cummings, ‘The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.’
I have tried to explore humanity in a rainy city. Now would you like to write a narrative, which displays admiration, nostalgia or desire for the muddy earth. This quote has a lot of scope, does it not? Take your time to go through the challenge and other contributions. Start with a small stanza or two followed by a haiku. It is a learning exercise and fun; we will grow with time and practice. Do try this out. Good luck.
So vivid…And the love for her brother is prominent….wonderful
Thank you very much, David
You are so welcome…Thank you for sharing
Oh, I know how it feels for passing vehicles drench me in rain. But mud is worse than that
Thank you for reading, Yoshiko:)
Welcome, Padmini 🙂
Moving story, wonderful Haibun!
Thank you very much:)
You write in a way that reminds me somewhat of Hemingway, or even a lot. It is a very deceptive, captivating way that immerses the reader in your text…in fact, I’m slightly envious of how you arrange your text! I have such a hard time ending sentences, with my comma after comma, and then getting to the next one, so I am amazed to see it flow so effortlessly here! Tell me it was hard work, please!!
Really, this was a pleasure to read.
Hi Pirate, Certainly put a bit of thinking here than the usual. It is the only way in which I am capable of writing. I should move away from P.G. Wodehouse and John Grisham and start reading Hemingway’s novels:) You are always kind and demonstrative in your appreciation. And this makes us, writers, feel good and encouraged. Thank you for this!
Well done Nightlake! Well done 🙂
Thank you so much, Cao:) Appreciate you taking the time to go through this blog
I love your blog! It’s a highlight of my blog reading. 🙂
so happy to know that you appreciate my blog
I sincerely do, I always pause and think what I would say about the pictures. Your version always seems to fit better than mine, but I love to be still a sec and think. ❤
A wonderful haibun, Nightlake. Great take on the prompt. I really enjoyed reading your words. They flow, carrying heartache and daily struggles along with the telling of the story. Excellent haiku also! 🙂
Glad you liked this and empathize with the narrative. Thank you, Penny:)
A very moving and wonderful story. Indeed beautifully inspirational. 🙂
Thank you so much, Celestine:)
I pictured this as if it was happening right before my eyes. What a great sis.
The brother is too young to understand her gesture, but he might one day. Thank you, Rosy:)
He will…My little brother remembers my gestures. 🙂
We’re 8 years apart.
That is great:)
you captured sibling love well in your haibun. great offering – i like your haiku line, “drenched nest” ♥
So gad you stopped by, Sunshine. Thank you for your kind words
What a lovely snapshot of sibling love and care – the line ‘drenched nest’ is indeed wonderful.
Thank you very much, Freya.
In the city mud seems to be a different flavor than in the country. As it collects in curbs and runs into sewers… and splashes on those unprepared. One can only hope that once home these children were rewarded for their attempts get home safely. Kudos.
And thanks for stopping by my haibun.
Yes, and drivers make no attempt to make it easy for the pedestrians:) Thank you for reading, Jules:)
Wonderful story, touches the heart.
Hi Samina, Glad you stopped by and thank you very much:)
My pleasure my friend.
Very touching and so realistically portrayed. I felt like I was there watching the scene play out.
Thank you very much:)